17 weeks

How far along?  17 weeks - I know, I know.  We've gotten off track.  I had planned on doing pics and updates every 2 weeks, but last week was no bueno.  Tanner was in bed sick for 4 days.  At first we thought flu, then strep....all those tests ended up negative.  So who knows what was growing on his tonsils.  It was enough to gross out the nurse, and if you've ever worked with nurses, you know that's saying something. 

Total weight gain: up 1 lb.

Baby is the size of:  Batman - although I hope he/she doesn't have a cape!  That would be awkward... About 5 inches, head to toe.

Maternity clothes? None yet.  Still in a bit of an in-between phase.  I'm sure they'll begin making an appearance soon. 

Stretch marks?  no new ones. :)

Sleep: Pretty well.  I'll enjoy that while I can.

Symptoms: Turns out the Braxton Hicks contractions may be a little more than that.  The past few days, I've had quite a few that have been pretty uncomfortable. By Thursday evening, I was having trouble walking in the grocery store.  I called the doctor's office Friday morning and she said they want me on bed rest through the weekend.  So far, bed rest is not as fun as one would imagine.  If it was my choice to be stuck in bed, waited on, and watching all the TV I can stand, I would be in heaven.  But when you're told to do it, it's not nearly as fun. 

Movement:  Yes!  I've been so busy between work, caring for Tanner, and chasing Cooper.  I honestly hadn't stopped to think about it, let alone try to feel any of those lovely little flutters.  But in the middle of the night last Saturday (15 weeks 6 days), as I lie awake on the couch - no way was I sleeping in bed with Mr. Germy! - I felt a little roll in my belly.  After a long day and in a moment of exhaustion, it brought a wide smile to my face.  Thanks Pipsqueak!  You already know how to make mommy smile.

Food Cravings: Grapefruit, sour anything.

Miss anything? I miss NOT feeling like I'm being punched in the cervix.  Baby is hanging out very low.  I can already feel baby moving from the outside, but he/she is so low, it would be verging on foreplay for Tanner to feel.  I think we'll give it a little time and maybe baby will move to a little more PG location.  

 

 

This morning at church, I finally let myself start to feel the weight of the contractions.  I think I've been trying to downplay everything in my head.  We were singing "The Stand" and kept repeating the lines: What can I say, what can I do, but offer this heart, oh God, completely to you.  In singing this, I, for the first time of what I'm sure will be many times, gave this baby to God.  After all, what else can I really do?  I broke down a bit and just sat there and cried.  I want to think I am strong; I can handle this, whatever it is.  But the truth is that I'm scared.  Scared of losing this precious little one, scared of being on bed rest for months, scared of having a preterm baby...scared.  But I know that I was never in control of any of this to begin with.  I know that God will give me whatever I need to get through whatever comes.  And I know that God knows and loves this child more than I ever will.  He has plans...hope...and a future.

 

 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11