Ok, sorry to leave everyone hanging. And sorry it took me so long to get the rest of this typed up. I just had a baby - I have a really good excuse for being a little lazy. So, here goes.
We got me checked in at Baptist and got a little settled while we waited for word that we could go see Cooper. When we finally went down to the NICU for the first time, we were overwhelmed. We had to get directions on how to be NICU parents:
1. Pick up the phone outside the unit and let them know who you are.
2. Sign in at the desk
3. Wash your hands.
We were then lead back to our son's room. Amanda (our first of many amazing NICU nurses) gave us more directions on how things work. Cooper would have "hands on time" at scheduled intervals throughout the day. These were the times that we could come and be with him. Each time we could help with his care by taking his temperature and changing his diaper. Then, depending on his current condition, we could hold him for a short time.
Initially, Cooper was unable to eat because of the CPAP; he would get all of his calories from his IV until he was taken off CPAP.
This meant his hands on time was scheduled for every 4 hours. Amanda emphasized the fact that when he is resting, he is healing.
It was hard to not be with him all the time, but we wanted him to heal as quickly as possible.
We reached inside the holes in his isolette and just put our hands on him. For now, this was all the contact we could have with him. This was Friday.
Saturday started out nicely. We went to visit Cooper and Tanner finally got to hold him for the first time.
Our nurse for the day, Monica, decided to be a rebel. She pulled Cooper off his CPAP to see how he would do. He did pretty well and was off of everything helping him breathe. At this point we were thinking it would be a very short stay. Since he could now have oral nutrition, they placed a feeding tube from his mouth, down his throat, to his stomach. He was fed formula through the tube all day and tolerated it fairly well.
On Sunday, the tube in his mouth was removed and a new feeding tube was placed through his nose. He was still doing well with his feedings. This new tube would allow us to bottle feed him and they would only use the tube if he didn't take enough from the bottle. This was great news! But by the end of the day, his breathing was irregular and he was on oxygen. They were able to give him oxygen through a teeny, tiny nasal cannula. No more big, ugly CPAP.
Sunday was also the day I was discharged from the hospital. This meant that we had to leave that night and drive home with an empty car seat. Torture is the only word I know that comes close to describing Sunday. That morning, Tanner went home for a while to shower and get another change of clothes - we hadn't packed for such a long hospital stay. I sat in my bed pumping (I was planning to breastfeed but he could not even attempt it for the first few days) and crying my eyes out. I was dreading this day! Tanner and I had talked so many times while I was pregnant about the fact that going home from the hospital without our child was one of the worst things we could imagine. And now it was happening.
Tanner and I were both very distraught. We didn't know how to do this. All we could do was go hold Cooper during hands on time and come back to my room and cry. Thankfully, we have an amazing family. Tanner's sister in particular was very helpful. She came and prayed with us. She told us not to let satan use our circumstances to steal our joy. We were parents - something we had wanted for so long! Something we knew was part of God's plan for us. And we were wallowing in our situation. From that point on, we tried to remain joyful. After all, we knew our child would come home eventually. We were confident that God would heal him. We walked out of the NICU at the end of the day sad, but not broken. Believe it or not, I did not shed a tear.
Monday brought a renewed energy - it's amazing what sleeping in your own bed will do. Cooper had a good night, but we walked into the NICU that morning to bright blue lights coming from his room. His bilirubin was high so they placed him under lights. Nothing out of the ordinary for a newborn. Just one more thing for him to contend with. He did look pretty stinking cute with his shades.
Monday, he lost the IV access in his hand, so they had to start an IV in the top of his head. The nurses called it his unicorn horn. It was not easy to look at, but we got used to it. At this point, he was only getting minimal amounts of IV fluid, but they wanted to maintain an IV just in case. They were able to stop the oxygen and start Vapo-therm. This was heated, humidified air which was forced into his lungs to help keep those ornery little alveoli open. They could give oxygen through the Vapo-therm, but he didn't really need extra oxygen, just a little more time for his lungs to mature completely. He was only a few steps away from coming home.
We were getting comfortable with being in the NICU, which we secretly hated. I was naked from the waist up to pump multiple times a day. They recognized us at the phone (through the security camera) before we told them who we were. We had started leaving our Boppy pillow and some of Cooper's blankets and clothes in his room - not that they could use them yet. We didn't want to feel at home there, but it didn't take long.
Left: First Family Picture
Right: Unicorn Horn and Feeding Tube
Tuesday was uneventful, which was nice. I got to try breastfeeding him. He did great!
Wednesday, Cooper was finally moved to open crib. He was still attached to all the monitors, but they were able to stop the bili lights. No bili lights meant that he could finally be dressed in some of those clothes that we had left. He very quickly decided to poop all over his clothes and his nurse - she was a little crazy, so she had it coming. Apparently my son inherited his daddy's ability to read people. He was not fond of Wednesday's nurse. She was perfectly competent, but just a little high strung. Needless to say, she changed him into one of the hospital t-shirts. Tanner and I got a kick out of Cooper's reaction to someone he didn't really like.
The one think we did like about Wednesday's nurse was that she told us he would be going home the next day. We were hesitant to believe her because she was so whack-a-doo. She told us to go home and feather the nest and get a good night's sleep. We had feathered the nest the night we went to the hospital. The only thing we really needed to do was rest. We found it surprisingly easy to sleep that night.
We woke up Thursday morning still afraid to believe that Cooper would be coming home. He'd had so many ups and downs we just didn't want to be too optimistic. We were getting ready to leave for the hospital when we got a phone call. Monica (Cooper's favorite nurse - we were so glad it was her) told us to bring the car seat upstairs when we got there. Was she serious?!?! We almost couldn't contain ourselves. This was the news we had waited for for almost a week.
Cooper still had to pass the car seat test (spend time strapped into his car seat while on the monitors to make sure he would tolerate it) which he did with flying colors. He also had his hearing test and circumcision. It was rough time for him, but he handled it like a champ. Monica called us again as soon as all his procedures we over and said we could come pick him up. WOOO-HOOOO!!!!! We ran upstairs so quickly that we left the keys in the ignition. Thankfully, we also forgot to lock the car!
We got Cooper loaded up, took a quick picture with Monica, and we were on our way.
Cooper loved riding in the car. He just looked around wide-eyed the entire time. Before we knew it, we were pulling in to our drive and unloading him. It was glorious! I have never in my life been so glad to be home. We came inside, looked at each other and said, "What now?" We didn't know how to be a family outside of the hospital. However, this awkwardness quickly faded and we got settled in.
Cooper has truly been the most amazing thing to happen to us - ever. He is the sweetest little creature. Each day we are trying our best to soak up every single moment with him. We have already seen how days in the hospital can last a year, while days at home pass at lightning speed. We are so thankful that God healed our son. He brought us through the most difficult time in our lives and He strengthened our faith. We could not be more grateful for all the prayers and support from all of our friends and family. I can't say that if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. But I can say that I know God's plan for my son is best. And since this was part of the plan, who am I to wish for anything different.
