All day I keep being reminded that today was the day I was supposed to have a baby. I know, I know...babies are rarely born on their due date. I'm just sitting here staring at a 2 week old kiddo and thinking, "Would things have been different if he had stayed put until today?" I tell myself over and over that everything happened just like it was supposed to. Sometimes, I have to try very hard to convince myself that it's the truth. Maybe this is all just hormones talking. On second thought, I'm 95% sure it's hormones. But it's still how I feel.
On a more fun note - Cooper is 2 weeks old today! He is such a fun little guy. So far (keeping my fingers crossed and praying to God it continues) he's been a great baby. Eats well, sleeps well, has tons of gas. The gas thing may sound irrelevant, but it leads to lots of tummy bubble grins. Can't wait until those smiles are real. Cooper met all of his cousins on my side of the family today. There was lots of love and snuggles and hand sanitizer to go around. While Jackson was holding Coop he kept leaning down and whispering to him. When asked what he said, he told us it was a secret. Finally he told us that he said, "Cooper, wake up! It's me, Jackson." How sweet! Love you Ethan, Abbey, Connor, Jackson and Addison!
We are usually up 2-3 times per night. I nurse him and then if he seems tuckered out but still hungry, Tanner will give him a bottle. Nursing is going well; he just needs to build up enough stamina to fill his little belly. After feeding, we do a quick diaper change and then wrap up our baby burrito. We lay him down in his bed (co-sleeper in our room) and he usually goes right to sleep. That is part of the upside of the NICU stay. While in the hospital, he got used to being put down and falling asleep on his own. We are hoping to keep this habit in place. As hard as it is during the day to not snuggle or rock him to sleep, it sure pays off at 3am.
Tanner went back to work on Tuesday. Not bringing Cooper home until he was almost a week old sure put a kink in Daddy's plans. There was no way Tanner was going to be convinced to go to work while Cooper was still in the hospital. But he was a little heartbroken that he didn't get to spend much time at home with us. He will have some more days off later in the year. Hopefully they can get in some quality guy time.
I know this is just random babbling. I felt like I needed to put some of my weird feelings on "paper." I think catharsis is the cure for postpartum mood swings.
the comment from Jackson made me cry. :(
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