To Cooper on Your Birthday...

Dear Cooper,

I've never been one of those girls that was terribly boy crazy.  But, there are few men in my life who are worth writing about. Papa Bob - he gave me my name. He raised me to be strong and faithful.  He taught me about hard work and gave me love for music. Your Daddy - he changed my name. He and I jumped off the deep end with no fear of failure!  Had we known how hard things would be sometimes, we may not have been so hasty.  But we were (and still are) so in love...  Your daddy and I grew up together. We chased degrees and careers and found that there was still something missing.  You.

You, sweet boy. You changed my identity.  You not only gave me the new title of "Mommy", but you changed the very core of who I was.  So many times I felt completely incapable of being a good mom.  I felt stretched thin and tired.  I felt selfish for wanting a break while, at the same time, wanting more time with.  There were times when we were apart that I missed you so intensely, I didn't know that I could continue to bear it.  And there were times we were together that I wanted you to take your snotty little face somewhere else so I could sit on the toilet by. my. self. 

You have grown me and changed me.  Helped me realize my selfishness and understand my mother.   While other men in my life have been influential, you are mind blowing.  You took the worst parts of me and exposed them.  You were also gracious and forgiving in your ignorance of those parts of me.  You were the one to finally give me even the loosest grasp of just how much love God has for me.  Because I know the love he gave me for you.  You, Cooper-man, made me better.  You are my life's work.  You are my proudest moment.  You are my precious boy. 

So today, on your birthday, I am so proud of my name.  The name only you could give me. 

With a kiss to hold onto,

~mommy

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